Friday, June 17, 2011

Potty Talk: More Comments from the Stall Next Door

Ready for the the next installment in the Comments from the Stall Next Door Series?

Ryan is a pottying machine.  Seriously.  We went to the pool yesterday evening after work and then grabbed dinner at a restaurant.  He went potty before we left the house, twice during the 2 hours we were at the pool, once again before we left the pool and then twice more at the restaurant.  It reminds me of those prostate commericals about a going problem.  And if he didn't have so much to put in the potty every time I might be worried.

Luckily Kevin joined us at the pool around the half way mark and got most of the potty duty.  I had Connor - the kid with the bladder of steel the size of Rhode Island.  :)

Unfortunately, by way of not taking him to the potty meant that I would get the potty report when he got back.  And Ryan only has one voice when it comes to the potty.  And excitement.  LOUD.

So as I was sitting at the restaurant enjoying my banana pudding while prodding Connor to eat some okra, Ryan comes tearing out of the bathroom, practically sprinting across the restaurant, beaming ear to ear and already shouting "Mommy!  Mommy!!" 

My only hope was that it would be swift and not too graphic.

Before he'd even come to a halt at the table he began boasting "MOMMY!!  I POOPED IN THE POTTY!!! I had a BIG POO!!"  At which point he paused and looked to me for acknowledgement and encouragement to expound on just how a big of a poop it was.

Luckily we were saved from further details as several of the tables around us began to laugh - many not even attempting to hide their mirth at Ryan's declarations - and Ryan was offered some of my banana pudding as reward.

Early on in our potty training adventures Ryan was very interested in poop.  He would count the plops with exuberance, and on occasion after huffing and puffing with such intensity I was sure the kid was going to have hemorrhoids after delivering what must have been the equivalent of a 10lb baby he would excitedly ask "Did you SEE THAT??"  "That's HUGE."  and proceed to carry on with sincere enthusiasm as I cheered him on. 

As pooping became more mundane for him as first the days, weeks, and months passed the poop conversations became more old hat, sotto vocce, just the facts, ma'am.  However with Connor's more recent attempts at potty training and in particular our excitement about him pooping the potty, Ryan understandably wants his share of the spotlight and cheering, too.  So, we have once again returned to the days of poop - the greatest accomplishment in the world.  An accomplishment to be shared with everyone in the vicinity, and cheered wildly by all.

Connor, not to be outdone has had his share of potty moments of late as well.  Including the discovery of just how tall or short a potty has to be to not need a stool to stand up and pee...

We were coming home from school and Connor mentioned as we were driving down the road near the house that he needed to go.  So as we pulled into the driveway moments later we quickly disembarked and headed for the door.  Connor was standing at the door doing the potty dance as I unlocked it.  So as the door swung open I told him to run to the potty and pull his pants down and that I would be right there.  I headed for the alarm, and Connor to the potty.  As I turned from the alarm, maybe 10 second after opening the door, and took a couple of steps towards the potty I heard the distinct sound of peeing only with more of a metallic pinging sound.  As I rounded the corner of the bathroom door and took in the scene I couldn't manage anything more intelligible than "CONNOR!" as he stood on the ground, next to the stool, with kids potty seat down (3 levels down that should have been up for standing to pee) peeing.  Only he's 2 inches to short to actually get pee in the potty in anything other than upwards arch that I am not even sure Peeing olympians could have made.  And not only was he peeing against the edge of the potty in the floor creating a river as it first pooled, splashed, and then blasted down the grout lines, he was letting out the flood of the century.  So after we cleaned it up we had a long conversation on how to tell if you were tall enough to stand up and pee in a potty without a stool....

But the one that has secretly amused me the most, and is probably mostly of my own doing was at Barnes and Noble, when as I was admonishing him to "point down" for the umpteenth time he crossed his arms over his chest and declared "That's not my JOB!"  "YOU POINT DOWN!"

When Connor first started potty training after a success or two when it didn't work after that he sadly looked down, holding himself, and declared that his "potty didn't work."  "My potty is broken."  Despite repeated attempts to assure him that his flooded diapers attested to the fact that his potty worked just fine he just needed to put it in the potty not his diaper, he was convinced.  His potty was broken.

So when in our most recent attempt at potty training on day 1 I told Connor that all he had to do was relax, and let the pee out.  I would take care of everything else.  His job, was just to let it out.

Sounded reasonable right?  One thing at a time.  Get to peeing in the potty and then we will work on aim.  So that's how it started.

After a while, when he had the peeing thing down we tried to get him to aim (in ways other than bending at all kinds of awkward angles that weren't guaranteed to have desirable results).   But he just wasn't interested and out of self defense we kept doing it for him. 

So now?  Now he's convinced that it is our job, not his despite our repeated attempts to convince him otherwise.  Stubborn kid.  Can't imagine where he gets that from.

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