Tidbits from the Backseat

Cooking with EPS:
It was Connor’s classes’ turn for a cooking session. Here’s what he had to say about what his class “cooked” up:
Me: Connor, did you cook something today?
C: Yes. I cooked today at school.
C: I broke all the cookies (graham crackers). In little pieces.
C: And cut the nanas (bananas). With a knife. But it wasn’t a sharp knife. My teachers told me it was ok.
C: I put it all in my bag and shook it up and mushed it all together so it was all mixed up.
C: Then I got to EAT it!!!
Me: Was it good?
C: [nodding] I ate it all!
C: And I had sour juice.
C: Rohan made it green.
Me: What did Rohan make Green?
C: Rohan made green juice.
Me: What color was your juice?
C: I had sour juice, too. It was green.
Me: Did you make it green?
In stereo sound …
C: [in a sigh… weren’t you listening to me voice?? I already told you… ] No… ROHAN made it green.
Ry: No, mommy. Rohan made it green.

As soon as Connor finished his cooking story Ryan chimed in with his own story about Science yesterday:
R: In science yesterday Miss Samantha put pudding in my cup.
R: And then she put a worm in it.
Me: A worm??
R: But not a real worm. A food worm.
Me: A gummy worm?
R: No. A FOOD worm.
R: And some cookies. We crumbled up all the cookies.
R: We put them on top of the worm.
R: And I got to eat it, too.

Candy Bars for Breakfast

Getting the boys into the bathroom to go potty first thing in the morning lately has been tough.  I don't know if it is that they aren't quite awake yet, or what.  But given they typically wake us up, not the other way around... Who knows.  Maybe it's just part of being 3. 

Speaking of which apparently times have changed, because the 2s?  Those were the Terrific Twos.  The 3's?  While they have their days they seem to be much more challenging than the 2s.  So I think that "Terrible" moniker should be more appropriately reserved for the 3s.  Just sayin..

Anyways... I digress... Morning potty time.... As the boys were attempting to crawl under the train table to hide from me this morning right after I announced it was potty time I decided to opt for bribery I mean positive incentives.  "A treat for the 1st one to go potty!!"  At the mention of the word treat they both popped up and made a mad dash for the bathroom.  Connor got there first, did his business, in the potty today (last night he was doing the potty dance at the front door and by the time I got the alarm turned off -10 seconds maybe?? - he had already yanked his pants down and was standing up peeing.  At the front of the potty.  In the floor.  The school potties are low enough to the ground that he can stand up like that.  The ones at home, not so much... And HOLY COW  it was a ALOT of pee.) and wandered off naked as a jaybird as I forgot to get their underway in my shock that they were voluntarily going to the potty without more coercing.  Gotta capitalize on those opportunities when they occur. 

Ryan waited for his turn all the while asking if he got a treat.  The kid is like a dog with a bone.  He never lets anything go.  Any answer short of yes, or no must be Magic 8 ball speak for Ask Again.  Now.  And Often.  For the record the only answer that doesn't result in more interrogation techniques that would make the KGB proud is "Yes."  So while doing his business he told me he was going to have a candy bar for breakfast.   To which I of course respond, no, you are not.  Getting aggravated with me, he says "Yes I am.  Daddy said I could have a candy bar for breakfast."  Mom:  [skeptical]  Somehow I doubt that's what he said... KEVIN!?!?

.... later sitting at the table...
Kev: "I didn't say candy bar.  I said cereal bar."
Ry: "I want a CANDY bar!"
Me: [opening one of the "cereal" bars....]  "Look Ry.  You were right.  It IS a candy bar."  [pointing out the mini peanut butter chips]  "See - it even has frosting."
Kev: "It does not."
Me: "Yes it does.  Look at it."
Kev: "Well, not much.  It's a CEREAL bar.  It's good for you."
Me: "I am sure it TASTES good to you."
Kev: "It has lots of FIBER." 
Me: [looking at the box/label]  "uh huh... "

Sure enough it says on the box - 40% of the recommended amount of daily fiber.  For an adult. I have no idea how long fiber takes to work it's magic.  But I am sure glad they are going to school today...

And in the spirit of full disclosure, they also had a handful of blueberries and bananas along with their "candy bar."  And I have to confess the "candy bars" were actually pretty tasty.  Though the boys thought they were a little sticky by which I think they meant more stick to your teeth -chewy.

Random Thought Monday

My life is a series of snippets. Squirrel!! Name that movie.

Here are just a handful of the thoughts pinging around in there...

• Sweetberry Farm is open on the weekends for a few more weeks. They currently have Blackberry picking and my all time favorite the Texas Maze. At NIGHT ONLY.
• Where there are blackberries there are snakes.
• Where there is corn there are snakes. It stands to reason snakes would also be attracted to really tall hay that looks a lot like corn. Especially at night. It’s easy to mistake the two. Ask Kevin.
• Snakes are very hard to see in the dark.
• Snakes do not like to be stepped on. No matter the time of day.
• With that said, I am still giddy about the idea of running the maze in the dark. With a flashlight. Or floodlight. And a back-up. And extra batteries. You know, just in case…
• And maybe steel toed boots. Because it seems like the kind of thing you would need.
• I would say pants, too. But it’s way too hot for that.
• The idea of running through a hay maze in the pitch black (okay, except for that almost full moon at the moment) reminds me of a serial killer ish movie where everyone dies a gruesome death.  
• I am still excited.
• I wonder if they sell full body reflector and blinky lights combo for children. Like a Christmas tree on crack. I see some Googling in my future. If not I am totally patenting it.
• Don’t worry about the patent. You can steal my idea. I never get around to it. Like the whole GPS thing. Adding my own roads. Still the best idea ever. Would have made millions. Or at least enough to buy lunch. GPS companies if you are listening – BEST NEW FEATURE EVER. Don’t worry about royalties. Just send me a new GPS. And lifetime map updates would be a nice bonus.
• Speaking of GPSs. I am loving the whole lane warning thing on my new one (it shows for example 6 lanes of the freeway and highlights the fact that only two of those are going the direction I want to go. Far enough in advance I could actually do something like get over in the right lane. Lifesaver.
• I also LOVE the painted signs on the freeway. Do they do that everywhere? As you are driving along there are road signs painted straight onto the pavement along with arrows. So instead of you trying to figure out if the signs over the road two miles up there apply to your lane or not you can just look at the road as your driving by. Genius.
• There are places where there are no frontage roads. Who does that?
• Those places are often seedy places where it is not advisable to stop at things like red lights. And you should lock your doors. Every 10 seconds. And frantically search for an onramp.  Which are not conveniently located right next to the offramp.  Or even in sight of it.
• There are also places with frontage roads that are two way. This lack of consistency is a bad thing. I regularly see people driving the wrong way on the frontage road. Especially out of hotel parking lots.
• My favorite ones are the people who realized they were going the wrong way just before they got to the red light without any lights on their side facing oncoming traffic so they duck in the [blind] U-Turn lane [still going the wrong way…]
• At school this morning there was a SUV fest. Kevin would have been appalled. There are 6 parking spaces up front (give or take a couple – Aggie math and all). And every single one including 3 more in the drive thru were SUVs.
• They were all really expensive SUVs, too. Lexus, Mercedes, BMW, Porsche, etc. What do all these people to do??
• I want to be independently wealthy. There are so many places that I would like to take my kids. And their nanny. :) 
• I play the lottery. It’s a ridiculous waste of money. But there’s a pool at work. And just my luck if I didn’t play they would all win and be set for life and I would still have to work. I call it my early retirement plan. And it’s doing about as well as my company stock.
• Speaking of which I must owe my bookie at least $20.
• I need a new retirement plan. One with hopes of actually not having to work. Before I die.
• But personally I think people should retire and take time off to do all the crazy things they want to do before they are too old to enjoy them. Live when you are young. Work when you are old.
• Vultures have taken up residence on our building at work. It’s really kind of creepy.
• V is for Vulture.
• A is for Angel Fish, B is for Boa Constrictor, C is for Alligator. At least according to Connor. I don’t know the difference between Alligators and Crocodiles. I am not sure I care. I don’t want to be eaten by either one.  
• I know Connor’s Animal Jamboree book by heart. Even the exotic ones like N is for Narwhal. And Q is for Quetzal. There is going to be more Googling in my future.
• Know the saying – Red touch Black friend of Jack? Black touch red kill a fella. Who ever sticks around long enough to figure out what’s touching what?? I say – see a snake? RUN. Not quite as catchy I suppose.
• We started swim lessons this weekend. Ryan doesn’t ever want to go back. Ironically I thought his teacher did the best job.
• He was stuttering like crazy this morning, too. Where does that come from?? Trauma from swim lessons? He’s normally so articulate he amazes me.
• Though he doesn’t want to go back to swim lessons he would however like to go to the pool today. And tomorrow. And the next day, too.
• And McDonalds.
• I have yet to find anything on the McDonalds dinner menu that can be considered more than edible. I know there has to be something good.  Someone please tell me what it is and save me from another round of menu roulette. 

Cars 2 - Are you ready yet??

Cars 2 - just 12 more days...

The boys are chomping at the bit to see the new movie.  We see a preview practically every time we turn on the tv.  I hate commericals, but I have to confess I love the Target ad with the minivan squeezing in between the race cars.  But seriously - stores are exploding with merchandise.  Have you ever seen so much stuff for a movie before??  And BEFORE it even comes out!?

We picked up the new Lightening McQueen story book and have been reading it to the boys before bed every night.  They also have Cars 2 "chewies" (fruit chews) that I have been buying in bulk for weekend snacks if we are out.  The boys know that the blue one is Finn, the purple one is Holley, and they fight the bad guys.  And the green one is Francesco - he's a Talian (or Italain - tomato, tomatoe) race car.  And we just picked up some Cars 2 juice boxes this weekend.  They already know all the new characters (Holley, Finn, Francesco,  and the bad cars (Acer and Grim).  And of course, Jeff Gorvette - because he's yellow. And Jeff Gordon.  Kevin's already got Ryan brain washed.  I got in trouble for rooting for the M&M's car again (one of the Bush's I think).

Speaking of books - Connor and I stopped by Barnes and Noble looking for "Motion in the Ocean" and the "Barnyard book!" as special treats for him doing a GREAT job of keeping his underwear dry.  Luckily despite the lack of details on exactly what we were looking for... seriously that's all we had to go off of - we manged to find the two books online and get them ordered as they didn't have them in stock.

While we were there we noticed a new Cars 2 book called "Super Spies."  We picked it up for Ryan and when we got home I read it him once.  The second we were done he told me he wanted to read me the story now.  And I was blown away.  He repeated the story back to me practically verbatim after hearing it just ONE TIME.  We read it 2 more times before the night was over.  And the next day in the car they could still tell me the story.  All of it.  Insane.  More than a week later, after having not read it again, even Connor (who prefers Nemo and fish to cars) can still tell me that Lightening and Mater were on a plane to go to the race.  The bad cars try to hurt the race cars.  Finn and Holley fight the bad cars.  Mater didn't help Lightening, and Lightening lost the race.  The bad cars try to hurt Lightening.  Mater tries to warn him, but Lightning doesn't see him.  The bad cars catch them, and put them in the clock, but Holley and Finn fight them and Mater and Lightening get away.  I am absolutely amazed.

It looks like such a great movie.  They are going to have so much fun seeing the movie in the movie theatre.  I can't wait!!  The wait for it to come out on DVD however is going to be the real killer... Because where the boys are concerned, once will not be enough.  And they are so accustomed to instant gratification they have no concept of having to wait for the DVD... They freak out when we have to wait for a commercial.  Just think... they have never known tv with the tivo.  Did I mention that they can already work the DVD player?  At 3.

The Magic Show

Checking the school calendar I noticed that on Friday morning they would have a Magic Show.  Excited to hear what happened when I picked them up I immediately asked about it.

Me: So what did the Magician do today?
Boys: Nothing.
Me: He didn't do anything?
Boys:  He had a turtle.  He ate the food.
Me: The turtle or the magician?

Turns out it was the magician and that's all I got out of them.  The boys it seems were apparently not terribly impressed with the magic show... And there were no bunnies.  Nothing pulled out of a hat.  No scarves.  No flowers.  I forgot to ask about cards.  Maybe there were at least cards??

Cooking with Preschool

Ryan's class had a "cooking" class yesterday.  He said they made pizzas.  On his he put pepperoni, green onions, and sausages.  Oh, and cheese.

We got a recipe card in our take home stuff for cookie pizzas.  Apparently they took sugar cookies, and spread on colored frosting for the cheese and then put various candies on them to represent the other toppings.  Cut them into 4ths to make slices and then devoured them.   Ryan thought his was delicious.  :)

Mix and Match

Kevin picked out the boys' PJ's last night and got them dressed for bed.  I did a double take when I saw Connor.  He wore the outfit on the left.  Then I glanced at Ryan and he had on the one on the right. 

 I realized right away that neither one of them had matching jammies on.  And not only that - it wasn't that he mixed up the shirt of one set with the pants of the other, but he had parts and pieces of 4 totally different sets of PJs. 

Most of the time I try to fold and sort the boys' laundry.  But I often leave it all in a tub until I wash all the lights, darks and in betweens in the hopes that I will be able to match everything back up again.  Right now we are in the half and half phase where I have washed some of the laundry, but not all of it.  And we have been picking things out of the tub as we need it. 

Every time I fold laundry I end up with a few assorted things that don't match.  A PJ top without the bottoms.  Bottoms without a top.  Shirts without their matching shorts. That kind of thing.  It happens so often I have dedicated a drawer to the odds and ends in the hope that with the next round of laundry or two it's matches will be found.   For the longest time I was perplexed on how I could have an even number of tops and bottoms but not have matching sets given that they always wear tops and bottoms.  Apparently I should keep a little closer eye on Kevin's choices...

The Puppet Show

On our way home from school yesterday the boys told me all about the puppet show they saw at school.

Connor:  There were 3 little piggies, and a big bad wuff (or wolf).  And the big bad wuff blew the piggies houses down. 
Ryan: Yeah, mommy, but only the soft ones.  Not the hard ones.  Not the brick one.  And then there was a clown.
Con: And a mama piggy.
Me: [a little perplexed] A clown and a mama piggy? [racking my brain... I don't remember there being a clown in the 3 little piggies story... ]
Ry: There were 2 clowns.  A big one and a little one.
Me: Did the clowns have big red noses?
Boys: No...
Me: Well, what did the clowns do? 
Ry: The clown jumped over the box and said "OWW."  But only the big one.  Not the little one.  They didn't do anything else.
Me: They didn't do anything else?
Boys: No.
Me: Were the clowns behind the puppet stage during the show? 
Ry: Yes.  But only the big one.  But he didn't do anything.
Me: Ahh... Ok.

You realize just how dirty your car is when...

You realize just how dirty your car is when...

You take your car to the service department and when you go to pick it up you have to do a double take and check the license plate to make sure that’s actually your car.

Clearly I should wash it more often because it looks amazing.  Now, let's just hope it's gas mileage is amazing now, too....

Potty Talk: The Stall Next Door

I can only imagine what other restroom goers think of what they can hear of our shenanigans one stall over.

I often hear chuckles, and even on occasion out right laughter.

Let me set the scene for you:
We parade through the restaurant in search of the restroom amid a chorus of "No, No. This way. Shh!Walking feet, please. Shh!  Wait for me!” 

Once the door opens I begin the mantra “All the way to the end.  No, No... All the way to the end. Come on boys, all the way to the end.” I apparently like to repeat myself. A lot.

Once we are there and the bolt is slid home that’s apparently the signal to go wild.
Here's how it went a few nights ago:
The boys:  "I want to go first! No ME! No, I am going first."
Me: "Quick!  Pull your pants down!"  "First one down wins!"

On a side note I don't know where this whole win thing came from, but it has taken over.  Everything is a competition.  They always want to win, and beat each other.  Which makes for fodder all on it's own when Ryan for example shouts in a restaurant "NO MOMMY!!  DON'T BEAT ME!!!"  By which he meant he wanted me to let him drink all his milk before I finished mine.  But I digress... Back to the potty...

On this particular night Ryan won, so I plop him on the potty.  Connor, slightly miffed that he didn’t get to go first waddles with his pants around his ankles around to the side of the potty and locates the flusher. And flushes.

Cue mom – “No, Connor we aren’t ready to flush the potty yet” And Ryan’s more aggrieved “Connor! Don’t flush me down the potty!”

And then the verbal marathon starts:
Ryan – point down. Connor, I said no. Ryan – watch what you are doing! POINT DOWN. Connor quit flushing! We only flush when we are done. Ryan – do you need to poop? Connor don’t touch the trash can. Are you sure? Then here, wipe.

At which point it should be 1 down, one to go right?  Oh no... It's never that simple.

Ry: But I want to get my own toilet paper!
Me: Just use this.
Ry: But, I wanted the big one (indicating the big roll vs the smaller roll)!
Me: It's all the same.  It's just toilet paper.
Ry:  But why is that one bigger?
Me: [mutters some logical answer relating to people's preferences]  Connor!  Yucky!  Don't touch that!
Ry: But why do people like that one better?
Me: [produces some insanely far fetched reason why people could possibly like one roll of the exact same toilet paper better than another in the hopes of ending the conversation]

At which point the woman next door chokes on a laugh.

After more flushing angst - "I was supposed to flush it!  It wasn't your turn!"  we finally manage to get Connor on the potty while I attempt to get Ryan dressed again, while extorting to Connor not to fall in, and point down, and quit touching that, and hold still, and put your foot in, and no you can't flush until you put something IN the potty!

At which point we get to the poop question again... "Connor do you need to poop? No Mommy!  I don’t have to poop ALL day EVERY day."

Followed by more flushing, more admonitions about touching, and more hold still so I can help yous!

It's always an adventure...