Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Mr. Whiskers Unfortunate Passing

This just so perfectly illustrates the difference between me (and maybe moms of twin boys in general?) and the rest of the population...

Sitting at my desk this afternoon I saw this flash by...

To: Ms. Depew
From: Ms. Stodgy, Director of Oxford International Preparatory Preschool - Home of future Nobel Peace Prize winners and a few accidental delinquents as mandated by Equal Opportunity Legislation.
Subject: Mr. Whiskers Unfortunate Passing

At which point the first thought through my mind was "Please, dear Lord - don't let the boys have been involved."  And to be clear, by involved I meant involved.  Accidentally, of course.  As they tried to prove their hypothesis that all animals are born with the innate ability to swim by helping Mr. Whiskers into the toilet while the teacher was distracted for example.  Or setting Mr. Whiskers "free" outside ala PETA activists only to have him flattened on the nearby road in his valiant escape.

As I went to open the email, dreading what I might find inside (surely murder, accidental or otherwise would rate a phone call... wouldn't it??  Or please not another parent conference... ) a coworker started to ask a question.  I told her to hold on - I was reading about Mr. Whiskers' unfortunate passing.  She asked sympathetically if the boys would be sad, and if they had told the kids, whether or not there would be a funeral.  Or eulogy, or death notice in all the papers.  You know, the typical things that apparently should cross most people's minds.  I laughed and replied that I hadn't gotten that far - I was still trying to figure out if it was from natural causes or if the boys had had a hand in it.  At which point she spit Coke out her nose, snorted, then doubled over in laughter and lost all ability to carry on a rational conversation.

For the record... Mr. Whiskers passed away after a short illness at the age of 8 1/2.  He was buried this afternoon in a "simple ceremony" attended by 60+ preschoolers.  After which, according to the boys, he went to Bunny Heaven.

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