22 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days

The scene of the crime...

22 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days. That's how long we had gone without a "floater" in the tub. Our luck ran out on Thursday. A night like any other bath night. Nothing out of the ordinary until it was time to get out. The water was drained, towels at the ready. So imagine my surprise when I looked over and there it was...

EEWWW!! And I don't mean the letter arrangement - that was compliments of Kevin while he was "cleaning." I am not sure who the culprit was, though I have my suspicions. Kevin on the other hand has practically convicted a suspect based on a thorough investigation of the incrementing "evidence" left behind. It was the size of the turd, Dear Watson. Isn't it obvious??

Common Sense Parenting Gone Awry...

Thought you guys might appreciate this.... I recently took a 5 week parenting class called "Common Sense Parenting." I learned some new tips and tricks, and well as got some positive feedback and validation on some of the things we were already doing.

This morning, in practicing some of the lessons learned I was trying to teach Ryan to tell Connor "no hit" when Connor hit him with a toy.

It went something like this….
Me: “Ryan, if Connor hits you what should you do?”
[silence – but he was obviously paying attention and thinking]
Me: “You should tell him “no.” Tell him “no hit.”
Me: “Can we practice that now? Say “no hit.”
Ryan: [whispers quietly] “nooooss hit” (In case my phonetics don’t give you the picture it sounded an awful lot like a bad word).
Me: “What did you say?”
Ryan: [significantly increased volume] “NNNNOOOOOSSSSEHIT”
Me: [stifling laughter] “Good job. But maybe next time we should tell him “no touch okay?”

Sometimes

Sometimes you guys make me so proud. Like today - when you picked up all the animals. Every single animal. There must have been at least 30. While all the other kids stood around and watched you guys picked them up. All by yourselves. Just because I asked you to. Other parents gawked. I beamed. :) It was ridiculously cute.

But don't think that makes up for this morning....

This morning Ryan hit Connor out of the blue. So I picked Ryan up and carried him with me to the bedroom and dropped him off in the crib while I finished getting ready. Only Ryan didn't mind at all, and Connor bawled like he was being tortured because I had disappeared behind the closed door carrying Ryan so he must be getting rewarded or something right? Wrong. After a minute or so I kicked them both out and finished getting ready. It couldn't have been more than a minute later when I headed back out the door on Kevin's heels. I could hear the boys. And I knew. I just knew. Kevin looked around for them for a minute, then realized that I was talking to the closed powder bath door and asked incredulously if I had locked them in the bathroom. To which I replied, no. They did that all themselves.

Have I mentioned that while lever door handles are truly beautiful, stylish, and functional that they are totally not practical with children. It's very hard to find door locks to fit lever handles that 1) allow you to open the door from the opposite side of the lock (and please manufacturers what kind of door do you think you only ever need to open from one side??? The front door? Ummm... No. The bedroom door... Again... No. Bathroom? Nope. So other than maybe a pantry or closet I just don't get those. And still - we are talking children right? You don't think a child might accidentally lock you in the closet?) but I digress.... Where was I? Oh yeah, 2) don't require permanent damage to the door and 3) stay put and 4) actually keep the children out...

So if I were guessing what happened I would guess that Ryan opened door (as he is known to be the culprit in most door opening instances and his most recent favorite thing to do when I bring him in first is to open the door immediately after I go back out and shut it, and stand in the door way with the door open just wide enough for him hanging halfway out and grinning waiting for Connor and I to come around the corner. ) and then both he and Connor toddled inside looking to make mischief, when one of Ryan's compulsions kicked in - the one where everything that opens must be closed (doors, cabinets, gates, etc.) - and he manged to lock them both in the powder bath. In the dark. To which they were most definitely not thrilled, and apparently lacked the common sense or ability to see well enough to enable them to get back out. So they cried. Piteously. Until I let them out. Not that I think this incident as traumatic as it sounds will in any way deter them from trying the like tomorrow, or the day after for that matter.

The delivery

To say that the delivery didn’t go quite as expected would be a gross understatement. Don’t laugh too hard, but I envisioned walking in the doors, handing the kids the cards and having them go to the appropriate people cards in hand, smiles on, and handing the cards over. They would then beam proudly at having completed their task and bask in all the Thank Yous and Good jobs as they have done at home half a million times.

Dear boys,
Should you ever consider a job for UPS or any other delivery service, please don’t be too offended when I remind you of this day and suggest you reconsider.
Love,
Mom

So what really happened? We made it from the car to the front lobby without incident. They even stayed in place as I let go of both their little hands while I dug out the right cards. I handed over the cards, and they took my hands again as we headed for the first door. As I let go of Ryan to open the door he began to bolt. But I was faster. I managed to grab him with my now free hand, while catching the door with my toe. I was able to get the door open and both of them headed inwards. And this is where everything went wrong. They both started crying. Connor sat down. Ryan began backing up. Keep in mind I am still propping the door open with a toe, holding their school bag in one hand, and still trying to usher both of them inside the door. Chaos erupted. I can only imagine what a sight we must have been.

The next few seconds is a bit of a blur, but I do recall Mrs. Estell came to the rescue and picked Connor up, while I managed to push Ryan into the room enough so that the door could close behind us blocking off most routes of escape. There were still copious tears and woeful cries. I did finally manage to get Ryan to head over and deliver his card. He came running back and latched on to me as the tears began again. I picked him up, and could see Connor reluctantly hand over his card to Mrs. Gayle. She set him down to see him walk and the tears began in earnest again. In the end I carried both boys out of the Infant room sniffling with tear stained faces.

We made our way across the hall and into our classroom. After a minute or two I set Ryan down and after I pried his little fingers off of mine he headed off without even looking back. Connor on the other hand had a death grip on my shirt and his little thighs were holding onto me as if for dear life. I dug out Ms. Alice’s card, called Ryan back and asked him to deliver it to her. He headed towards one of the other helpers, dropped the card, but then recovered and delivered it exactly as asked – right to Ms. Alice’s hands with a smile on his face at a job well done. I wiped the last remnants of Connors tears and after another minute or two managed to hand Connor off to Ms. Alice without incident. Ryan who had been playing with a giant beach ball came towards me as I was walking out the door, hands in the air. I picked him up, gave him kisses, and quick hug, and sent him after the ball while quietly saying goodbye and bolting for the door.

Afternoon Tea Party

Daycare had a Mother's Day Tea Party. I would like to say it was nice quiet civilized affair where I got to meet some of the other Moms and had a splendid afternoon enjoying some refreshments and chatting away while the kids played happily. I think that's how someone envisioned it.

In reality I walked in 5 minutes late because I had to park half a mile from the school because there was absolutely no parking. When I arrived the cupcake demolition had already begun. The boys were already wearing half of theirs. There were only 3 other moms in attendance. Though in their defense at least two of the other Mom's had older children and took their younger children with them to the bigger kids classroom. I didn't get to meet a single one.

I spent most of the time trying to get Connor to sit back down and keep his brownie and icing covered hands off of me (I love you, too, sweetie, but please finish your snack (and get cleaned up!) before you give me hugs!), while simultaneously trying to get Ryan to stop trying to steal the other children's food, quit throwing his sippy cup, stop trying to eat the food off the floor, and in general stay out of trouble. And I would say it was a whopping 2 minutes after I arrived when everyone else left - run out by the chaos and the icing clad hands I imagine. And unless you count the chocolate brownie on my pants and the water spot from Ryan's sippy after the valve dislodged after he threw it for the umpteenth time I didn't even get to enjoy some nice refreshment.

Despite all that I was glad I made it in time to see the chocolate covered smiles of delight when I walked in the door. They don't give those half eaten cake bite smiles to just anyone you know. They save those Just. For. Me. Because I am their Mom of course. And I love them bedecked in cake and all. :)