Human Pancake

How I was almost flattened by the trash cart...

What a way to go, huh? Pancaked by the trash cart. Wouldn’t that be great office urban legend. One time this girl was working late at night (they never get these details right you know) … Though the word “cart” doesn’t quite do it justice. Empty, it is about 5ft tall – allowing plenty of visibility for a driver of average height to have a clear view of the road ahead to avoid obstacles like say pedestrians. It’s also about the size of a compact car. And it drives kind of like a man powered tank (don’t ask how I might know that…). Anyways…. So back to my story. I got on the elevator on the ground floor (how’s that for lazy karma??) and pushed the button for the 4th floor. I had just gotten a new badge holder which I was pre-occupied with trying to get to actually stay attached (it kept jettisoning itself off like a mini rocket every time I moved). So I was looking at it only half paying attention as the elevator dinged and the door slid open. As I took my first step off the elevator I came practically face to face with a box. I squeaked in startled protest as the mountain of trash appeared out of nowhere and was headed straight for me. I spent what seemed like ages rooted to the spot watching the oncoming mountain in slow motion with the dawning realization I was about to be pancaked before my feet finally responded to the command – MOVE (implicitly implying anywhere but towards that thing, and as fast as possible). I narrowly edged out the other side as it finally slowed to a stop where I had been only seconds before. I finally saw the driver peering sheepishly around the side of the cart probably wondering as to the source of the squeak.

Needless to say I survived unscathed, and it probably isn't nearly as funny in the telling as it was in real life - but I got quite a chuckle out of it.