One WILD Ride

Tonight Ryan picked up a mini magna doodle and started drawing us a map.

To Africa.
On a BUMPY road.  Only we realized they were awful BIG BUMPS. 
And then they started moving!!!  OH NO!!
They weren't bumps, they were RHINOS!!!  With BIG HORNS.
So we threw the car in reverse and had to go another way.

Into the swamp.
Straight into the quicksand.  OH NO!! 
The car was SINKING!! 
So we had to crawl out the sun roof, slide down the windshield, scooch {which is totally a word} across the hood and LEAP off the car to solid ground.
And then we had to walk.  On foot.  In the swamp.  {Slurp, Slurp}

Until we came to a river.
The only way across was to use the stepping stones.  Only they weren't stones.
They were GIANT CROCODILES!!  CHOMP!  CHOMP! CHOMP!
So we ran until we came to a wooden bridge.
But as we started across the crocodiles chomped the boards in half and we almost fell in.
Into the water with the PIRANHAS!!!
We couldn't swim across or the piranhas would eat us so we had to find the concrete bridge to get to the other side.
Whew!  We made it!

We looked at our map again to see where we were supposed to go next. 
And what we did see?  A VOLCANO!!
With the wiki-tikis, and cannibals, and lava!! 
We couldn't go that way so we had to take another road. 

But it went through the SNAKE PIT!!
I told Ryan time and time again that we couldn't go through it, we couldn't go under it, we couldn't go OVER it, we HAD to go AROUND IT!!
It took some convincing, but he finally agreed.  So we took the road around it.

Right into the JUNGLE!
And there were TICKLING MONKEYS in the jungle!
Good thing we had a car full of bananas to give the monkeys to let us pass.
But when we came out the other side of the jungle we ran straight into a lion.
We used our QUIETEST voices, and softly sang him a lullabye to put him to sleep.
Then we tip-toe'd past him and RAN AS FAST AS WE COULD!!

We went 386 miles.
To the desert.
But, OH NO!!  It was a SAND STORM!!
We had to cover our faces with our shirts to keep the sand out!
And when the storm finally passed we thought the worst was over.
But then... WHAT was THAT!??!
DID YOU SEE IT!?!?!
OH NO!!!  IT'S BEETLES!!!!
Rhinos, quicksand, man eating crocodiles, piranhas, volcanoes, wiki tikis, snakes, monkeys, lions and even sand storms I could take.  But I draw the line at BUGS.

I wasn't going ONE.STEP.FURTHER.  So Ryan agreed to take me home.
On a boat.
Through the storm.  In the GIANT waves.  Taller than our boat.
With water spraying all over the deck with every wave.
And right into our mouths!
Pllbbbt!! YUCKY SALT WATER!!!  Pllbbtt {spit it out!!}
Luckily we saw the dolphins and followed them to the town.

Where we ate a restaurant.  And had lemonade, and macaroni, and potatoe soup.
{I hope not at all once.. yuck!  :)}
And then we followed the giant whales all the way back to Texas.
To the port.  Where we left mommy's car.
We all got in and mommy drove us all the way home.
And when we got there mommy collapsed on the couch. 
And snugged with both her sweethearts.
And we all fell asleep on the couch.
And when we woke up we realized, it was all .... just ....  a dream....

And next time Connor will be our navigator.
He's already studying up.  To go to to Aloha, Aloha {Hawaii}
With the hammocks, and snorkels, and brightly colored fish on coral reefs.
For a nice relaxing, less dangerous trip...
Except for the pirates, and sunken treasure, and haunted ghost ships.
So until tomorrow, boys... Sweet, sweet, dreams.

And when you have nightmares about man eating everythings... don't forget to call daddy!  And be sure to mention the killer shark he kept trying to throw into our nice, quiet, African Safari.  :)